Birthday Bash, Literally!

When we were kids, having a birthday party in itself was a fairly big deal. The richest girls in class had ‘parties’ where we sang ‘happy birthday’ nicely and played memory games. We were served cake and potato chips with small cups of orange or lemon crush. I once asked for a second helping of rasgulla (uncharacteristically, if I may add) and my friends looked at me in horror, as if that were the greediest thing they had ever seen.

Now, with a 2-year old daughter, I am yet to join the birthday party circuit full-time. However, I live in a joint family with a large extended family close by, with many nephews, nieces and their friends popping in and out at regular intervals. So I go to a fair number of birthday parties. And the trend I see is disturbing.

So what is this new birthday party all about? Let me break it down.



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The Invite: It has to be quirky. Think graphics. Colour. Digital. You’re a pro-mom if you have an animated invite.  


The Cake: Every year, the search for the most unique cake with the kid’s favourite cartoon character. Parents feel pressured to outdo each other and themselves in going one level higher than the previous year and also to account for the growing ‘taste’ and attitudes of their young one.

The Dress: For both the birthday kid and the guests, this is an important issue. There has never been a better time for the kids fashion industry. Girls as young as seven dress like models straight from the ramp.



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The Birthday Gifts: The more the merrier. The brighter the better. The larger the lovelier. The kid is never satisfied. One is inevitably reminded of Dudley, Harry’s cousin in the muggleworld. Parents can’t control this, so they do the next possible thing and promise to make up for any lack.

The Menu: Cake and chips are for the nineties definitely. You’d make a bad birthday mom if you don’t think on the lines of pizza or pasta, pulao at the least.

The Return Gifts: You cannot be cheap and give pencils or pens. You’ve got to think out of the box. Your child’s prestige is at stake.



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Don’t get me wrong – I am not against cake and fun. I can’t resist cake myself. It is just that everything is so loud it is getting to be meaningless. Parents try harder each year and each year the kids grow harder to please. We aren’t doing a service to our kids by setting them up on this vicious cycle of feeling entitled and then feeling bored, thereby raising the level of expectation the next time round. This in itself is quite bad and worse when it is purely over material objects without a richer emotional experience.

A birthday is a time for reflection, evaluation and planning for the next year. The best birthdays are when you look back with satisfaction on a productive year, make strong plans for the next and then celebrate another year of your existence on this planet. Is that too serious for kids? No! It’s never too early to start living meaningfully and it doesn’t have to be serious!

Also, here’s the thing about fun: parents cannot manufacture fun with money. They need to get their kids to create their own magic.

 

So what did I do for N's birthday? That will have to wait for another post!